the sitting half

December 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

day 2 with the chinese junk tablet. i told Guy i wanted to give it a name.

i can’t remember what we decided–kanye? god i hope Guy remembers. he is up in bed, with the sound machine on. the machines put us to sleep and they wake us up.

but tomorrow i am going to see a real live baby, so that should balance it.

my cousin got married today and you know when someone is talking and you didn’t quite hear what they said, but you nod and say “yeah” and you’re not sure if they’ve noticed so there’s a sense of light panic, of tipping over–it was that sensation stretched over several hours. i actually enjoyed myself a lot and enjoyed seeing a large group of people behave like me. i kept wondering if that context helped Guy to understand me in a different way.

half of the room is dancing and the other half is sitting in their chairs, talking and watching other people. they look pained but content. “your father already asked the dj to turn the music down.” that surprised even me. the sitting half don’t talk to any one new unless necessary. but as i explained to the strangers at my table, it’s not quite that we hate people but that you are assumed to be an idiot until you prove yourself otherwise.

then at a certain time, the sitting half all sense it is time to go. they  rise and stand in deformed circle clumps saying goodbye to each other. it’s hard to explain the internal sense of time. for me, things go from a neutral detached enjoyment to the feeling that i should have left thirty minutes ago and that nothing will be remotely close to okay unless i leave right then.

Guy said lithium batteries are this way. they’re fine until they are not. i said this was too simple, but i think i was wrong. i also learned from our battery conversation that batteries are best not fully charged, should be charged while off, and should not be charged in the cold. don’t know how the rest applies to people, but i do so hate the cold. i’ll miss it when there are no more winters.


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