raise your glass

July 31, 2013 § Leave a comment

Fergie, beloved cat of 20+ years, gone.

i’m slightly drunk on aviations. i very nearly came close to spending $60 on liquor tonight. but only $30. will take success in any form.

why am i walking around buying booze? when there’s so much else.

man, i never thought i would cry so much for a cat. let me explain myself.

i do not like the world without him. i was standing at the sink looking at the grass. everything goes on, yesss–

but he is not part of the fabric anymore. nor are any of the bugs i kill on the daily, but i don’t like them and i don’t care about them.

everything that is living. he is no longer included in this list. he is not part of it, and when the doctor put him to sleep, it was as if the television knob had been twisted with a steady click. the broadcast cuts out, but elsewhere it goes on.

and now life–i mean the lightning, the impossible hoax of animation, not the cheesy live laugh love life leap licorice loot lapdance*. life is so unfathomable. perpetual motion, self-propelling.

so now that is why:

1. when i am alone and something suddenly moves: scary as fuck.

2. accepting my own mortality: nope nope nope.

do you understand now? fergie was a little cat man who loved tuna. he probably could read minds. he was not a cat as far as i know!

aviations are made with gin, maraschino liqueur, and creme de violette. mine came out too purple.

do you understand?

RIP fergmeister, the fergman, old man river, old man winter, slickity rick rick, tickle towns.

*continued list made into an image.


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